Today is World Suicide Prevention Day and I wanted to help drive awareness and save lives with IASP (International Association for Suicide Prevention). In a recent post for Depression Awareness I touched on my personal battle with Depression. What I didn't talk about is that my depression started as a young teenager; I had severe anxiety and low self esteem that often left me with feelings of hopelessness and thoughts of suicide. I always imagined myself taking a bunch of pills and never waking up. I didn't have the nerve to cut myself or use a gun; I didn't have any confidence in myself that I could do either of those without messing it up. I often felt no one cared about the things I battled on the inside; like I was invisible. My mother treated me as though my moping and sadness was simply laziness. If and when I tried to talk to her she often redirected the conversation. I could never talk to my dad about my feelings because he was too busy with work or his hobbies; not to mention one of his children (from a previous marriage) committed suicide. After seeing the effects of that on my father I knew he would flip out if he knew I too was on that ledge.
But I have good news for anyone out there in a similar boat; as time passed, I found my place in the world (Trust me, there is a place for everyone too). I found my passions that would drive me to live. Dogs, Books, Writing, Photography, Computers, Cooking (& eating!), and much much more. I started to take joy in activities instead of feeling numb. I began to love myself and all of my quirks instead of hating and hiding them. In this I found success and confirmation from the universe that I was infact a part of something wonderful and exciting.
I love life as an adult; I think some of us just arnt cut out to be teenagers. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying I don't have bad days, I do. But, when I look back I see that I was in a bad situation that I didn't have much control over. Now, I have control. I can control how I face my demons and how I solve problems. As a teenager you are limited in your resources. You don't have the life lessons or the knowledge to know what to do. You rely on your parents but sometimes you don't have parents you feel you can talk to. Peer pressure also tends to push you into a corner. I'm here to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe you can't see it yet but I promise it's there. I hope you believe me.
I did this mani today to remind me of what I've faced and conquered. I also did it to remind you that you are worth living for. I pulled the colors from the IASP logo. The chevrons signify the ups & downs I struggled with. The little balloon decal is there to remind you to lift yourself up and LiVE.
What I used:
I painted all my nails except for my ring nail with 1 coat of Barielle's Designer's Shoes. This soft purple creme is a really lovely formula and an easy one coater.
I painted my ring nail with 2 coats of Barielle's Soho At Night. A deep plum creme. Formula was a little streaky on the first coat but opaque on the second. Dry time was average for a creme.
I used Orly's Chevron Tip Guides to create the chevrons. I simply painted each chevron with the contrasting polish. Designer's Shoes is perfect since it's so opaque; I was able to easily cover the dark color on my ring finger with one coat.
I top coated my nails with a coat of In A Hurry Air Dry Top Coat. I had some issues with bubbling today and I think it's due to a combo of the heat and applying my top coat thick enough to avoid smearing.
I will be posting a tutorial for these chevron nails later this week; I will link it once it's up. Here it is!
*I received the Barielle polishes for review. All other products were purchased myself. See my full disclosure policy here.